One of our oldest friends Ian has a message for mike vidad, who just tied the knot with paula ignacio.  Medyo nabitin kami sa reception nung di umabot yung message niya sa video, kaya here it is, with his permission to show to our CHA highschool barkada.  Kaya here is Ian Mariano almost live from Reno Nevada Hehe :)

I've written about marriage already, and openly admitted that of course I'd like to get married one day if it's in His plan for me (to those shouting "of course it is!" let us not be all-knowing and presume on what His plan for me is, whatever it is, with marriage or not, if I follow through with God's plan for me I will be at my happiest), but the urgent demand that I had for marriage in my heart as a naive college girl has changed.  It has been molded and refined from a demanding, desperate spirit into hopeful desire for that possibility.  The desperation has dissolved and the fear of being alone has been slowly consumed by God's love.  I am never alone.  I do not feel alone, and one must not marry anyway simply because they do not want to be alone.  I do get lonely still sometimes, but I hold on to the truth, that He is with me always.  I will not make someone my human teddy bear and I will not be one.  Whoever my dearest-to-be is, I want to add to his life. 

The way I see it, there was something I disliked about the term "better half".  There's nothing wrong with it of course and I still sometimes like hearing it between lovers, but God has shared something with me and I believe it is part of the reason why most marriages fail somewhere in the middle.  While it is clear that God unifies husband and wife and makes them one, I don't believe that 2 "half" people should marry.  While shampooing my hair I had an epiphany...then I got bubbles in my eyes hahaha! 

I think that 2 people God puts together, ought to be whole in Christ. 1 and 1, not 1/2 and 1/2.  Whole in Christ means not just of the same "faith", that's not what I mean, though that is God's command, to be equally yoked.  What I mean by whole is...secure in Christ's love, surrendered to Him, if not completely, mostly.  No one is ever 100% surrendered to Him, but there are those who make a decision to surrender daily...and walk the talk.  2 people who are whole can ADD to one another's life and not simply use up each other's strengths to make up for the other's weaknesses.  After decades of that, people give up.  It is God who ought to be the better half of both...so that they can add to one another's lives and not simply break even in marriage.

I read this article and realize it is so true:

http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001661.cfm

Single girls, we needn't pretend we're not thinking about marriage.  Some of the lonelier of us I believe simply spend bittersweet time with a happy couple our age and then shortly after want to run somewhere secret in tears because we covet what they have, but in front of friends we bluntly retort "I'm in no rush..." and begin to candy-coat our status plus recite the disadvantages of married life to make ourselves feel better.  Let's be real, humble, gentle, and trust more that God is able to bring about a great love story if we trust in His plan for us first.  Let us not hesitate to also rejoice with those who have found love to last a lifetime.  Are you reserving tickets for 27 Dresses?  No worries, Hehehehe. 

Billy Graham when asked if he ever thought of divorcing his wife answered "Divorce? Never.  Murder, yes." Hahahahaha!

C.S. Lewis found the love of his life and he knew she was dying from disease, but the way he tenderly outlines what his love for his wife was like in "A Grief Observed" after she died, how she was his best friend, his muse, and his lover only within a short span of 4 years convinced me that I would rather have that kind of real love than one I'd settle for simply because my bio clock is ticking.  The love of Jamie and Landon in the Nicholas Sparks novel, A Walk to Remember, also illustrates that.  Don't get me wrong of course I don't want death paired with my love story, but death is inevitable in any life.  My 2 examples demonstrate real love, that's the only reason why I cite them, not because of the dying part.  This is something Lewis wrote but not from A Grief Observed I think.

C. S. Lewis wrote,

"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.³

To those whose desires have been manipulated by the Enemy, we could say, "You're fooling about with premarital sex, recreational companions, endless buddies, when what I'm offering you is marriage, the desire of your heart." "Marriage," writes Lewis, "is the proper reward for the real lover, and he is not mercenary for desiring it."⁴

It must have been how those eloquent maidens in Jane Austen's novels felt, to have the air you breathe daily saturated with talk of who just married who and who's knot would be tied next, or who you might be "prevailed upon to marry".  So, Julia does think of marriage.

In fact I've thought of my wedding since i was 5 years old, except the head of the groom changed faces every so often as a flipping calendar would when the days went by.  A new face of a candidate would pop in every so often through the years as I grew up, then suddenly for a very long while, he lost his face.  It doesn't distress me.  Suffice it to say, despite my reputation as a hopeless baduy romantic, I've come to fear less about whether I will marry or not, for Jesus sent me a message "You are My little one, but You are not little in My sight, and I hold you in the palm of My hand." 

In an online exchange with a friend today, we discussed the subject of matrimony and our sentiments about it.  I shared an insight that occured to me over the past months.  Many are afraid to miss out on marriage, to end up being single, or for others to end up without a lover.  There is an unwavering pressure for everyone to find someone and snatch them up, quick as lighting and make it last as long as possible.  In fact, that kind of peer pressure extremely bothers Mom wherever it exists.  I thank God that she's in no way at all like the mother in Pride&Prejudice, out to have me married as quick as a flash regardless of my heart's state.  So prayers follow (and believe me, i've prayed some, too), to bring that person soon, let him find me, help me find her, let me not marry past the age of __, please bring this sort of person into my life, i need someone to love, etc.  Amidst all this, i think some of us tend to forget that marriage is a sacred covenant that is a gift of God in life.  Married life is not the only life people are born to live for.  It is part of a plan, a beautiful big picture that many may live to discover.  Then it struck me. 

Many of us who pray lots, pray over and over for God to reveal His plan for our lives "Lord show me Your will...tell me how soon before he finds me, reveal to me what You have in store".  We demand of Him what He can give us but then the truth is I wouldn't be surprised if more than half of all of us who pray to be blessed with our soulmate have not sought to know Him for Who He is, we want the plan but we don't know Who made it. 

I got this bizarre embarrassing picture in my head of a friend for example I'd go have coffee with...about say...once a month, we catch up, a new friend.  After a few outings together I don't think I'd be so quick to ask for anything super special from this person.  When friends have something to offer we are blessed by what they have for us as we cross the line in getting to know them.  One of my friends at the travel channel I work at blessed me with a sweet note after knowing each other for a few months, a note that helped me a lot with my inner dealings. 

When we choose to get to know someone, we are never forced, we do it because we want to, and I think it's better when we do that not just because of what we can get out of the connection.  I've found my relationship with my Savior has become more honest and real over the years for there are times when I've begun to pray like this "God, i actually don't feel like praying right now, but then I guess...it's too late I already am." hehehe.

I don't scorn those who marry, young or old.  I always dream of possibly marrying one day, if He plans it for me, but I also know that apart from marriage as long as I have Him I will always have exceeding joy.  My "God's Beast" could be fishing in antarctica for all I know, with his sled dogs watching. 

I am blessed when I see a fantastic marriage, and that's not meaning to say one that's all smiles and no hard times.  A fantastic marriage is one that I have witnessed in many couples to be two joined in destiny, heart, and soul through the deep smelly dark valleys (flashes the scene of Brad and Cate in Babel, the weewee part) that have no money trees as well as over the fragrant meadows with sunshine, rainbows and pots of gold at the end (flashes finale scene from Pride&Prejudice).  A husband and wife, often, if not always, remember that their marriage is not just about the two of them.  It's about a destiny God wants them to fulfill, a grand destiny, not a boring one.  Two people who are destined to love one another for life don't need to be in a hurry to find one another, they are the kind of people who know in their hearts that God will bring them together, no matter what happens. 

So single people, dance with me! (Ends with inane footwork and choreography to:)

"I'm so excited! I just can't hide it! I know...I know...i know..."